February 22, 2014

Game on!

Sometimes Greg can be terribly annoying. Today was one of those times. He likes to tease me and he’s often funny, but when you combine that habit with his vast knowledge of useless trivia, always available at the tip of his tongue, it’s annoying.  He tells me outlandish things, which most often prove to be untrue, along with enough surely-BS-but-true things that it’s hard to tell one from the other.

While I’ve learned that the days or our week really are named after Norse and Roman gods, some trees can actually talk to each other kinda like Avatar and the antioxidant levels of coffee and tea are much higher than brightly colored fruits and vegetables, it is categorically untrue that Gyros are made out of vermin and last week’s Saturday morning appointment in his calendar with a Mr. Meego Hawkey was not a business meeting at all! (I had to say it out loud a few times. Me.Go.Hockey).

I’m left wondering how can I monetize this useless data. I’d considered signing him up for Jeopardy, but let’s face it, Watson would clean his clock. I’m open to ideas if anyone has them.

That brings us to today. Mr. SmartyPants tells me he can remove the skin from garlic without touching it. It’s a common chef’s technique and as someone that has had some culinary training, he’s surprised that I’ve never heard of it. Ok, he set the hook, I have to bite.

I cover the bases, he cannot win with a technicality, like gloves or using a a knife and tweezers and I proudly remember that somewhere we have a garlic skin remover, a little tube-like thing you roll the garlic in, but he says this is not what he’s talking about. I call him out and we eventually set a wager.

This makes me very happy. I have visions for this weekend of Greg the Dog Washer, Greg the Dog-Poop-Picker-Upper, Greg the Toilet Scrubber and me telling him at least twice, “Again, that bowl must sparkle!” in my best “Miracle on Ice” voice, maybe even using the whistle too??? Every so often I catch him and this doesn’t just feel right, it feels AWESOME! {mentally begin writing out a massive honey-do list, oh how I love lists!}

Greg went “Medieval” in the literal sense. Should he win, I simply have to go to the farmers market and prepare a feast for him and the heirs to his throne (Mateo and Lucas), of which I am also to serve them, beginning each course with a flowery description and a courtsey. And for good measure, I have to call him “My Lord” or “Oh Great One”, in both public and private until the midnight hour on Sunday. This would be really unpleasant, but since the weekend has sparkling toilet bowls in his future, I agreed.

I will be posting the video later today……

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That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. So how did it end? I am really curious.

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